What do arms dealers and zookeepers know about medical ventilators?

It doesn’t matter.

What matters is that they support the Labour Party’s inner circle. The rest is just detail, and I’m sure they’ll work it out.

We heard a lot of talk about a worldwide ventilator shortage at the start of the COVID-19 pandemic. These life-saving devices are used in hospital Intensive Care Units to maintain respiratory function when individuals who are critically ill can’t do so on their own.

In other words, these things can keep you alive by breathing for you.

But don’t wurr-ry. Any idiot can knock one together.

Back in March, UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson claimed car manufacturers could start cranking them out in about two weeks. He had ventilator blueprints sent to Rolls-Royce, Jaguar Land Rover and Airbus, who were told to come back with 20,000 of the devices.

Okay, yes, the so-called experts questioned his wisdom.

CEO of Hamilton Medical Jens Hallek said: “These are extremely sensitive machines with not only a lot of hardware but also a lot of software. If one of the components does not work correctly, the whole machine shuts down and cannot be used anymore”.

Hallek’s company is the UK’s leading ventilator manufacturer, producing 220 per week. A pessimistic person — a traitor who’s just being negative — might insist he knows what he’s talking about.

But as Brexiteer Michael Gove told Sky News, “I think the people in this country have had enough of experts”.

The Muscat Miracle has proven again and again that anyone is capable of doing any job, and it doesn’t matter if they have no experience, training or basic ability.

Just look at how well-respected Malta’s previously unknown amateur diplomats are on the world stage. When they’re not sent packing from Italy, they’re comparing Angela Merkel to Hitler.

It’s completely normal that an arms dealer — recently charged with violating Libya sanctions for his role in supporting some sort of botched mercenary operation — was given €1 million to supply your State health services with 26 ventilators.

And it’s also normal that a tiger lover who built a ‘zoo’ illegally — he calls it a ‘park’ because it’s in his farmhouse back garden – was given €2 million to supply 50 ventilators to Mater Dei.

The zoo was later made legal thanks to Labour’s magic sanction. And anyway, others got more, so why are you picking on Machine-gun Fenech and Bongu Kitty?

Recently incorporated Target Healthcare got €4 million for supplying medicinal products. And Technoline Ltd of VGH fame got at least €1.8 million for who knows what.

As Ian ‘Getting Things Done’ Borg told you through so many publicly-funded billboard ads, what matters are results.

And when it comes to dealing with COVID-19, Malta is number one in Europe.

According to the European Centre for Disease Prevention and Control (ECDC), the country’s 14-day average death rate has shot past Spain to become the highest in the EU.

Dish out some more direct orders, quick! You’re on a rapidly accelerating downhill roll.

But what if you’re on the Labour gravy train and you can’t pretend to make anything medical?

Don’t worry! You may not be able to cash in on the pandemic, but there are plenty more direct orders to go around. And if you don’t qualify for one of those, you can always be made a ‘person of trust’.

If you’re a friend of Konnie and Lionel, you can get all sorts of direct orders for holding tacky tourism events. If you open offshore tax avoidance structures for high government officials, or rubber stamp Project Azerbaijan, you can get unlimited direct orders for all things audit-related: €2.4 million and counting for the company the Accountancy Board refused to rein in.

And if you’re in with the OPM, there’s no limit to what you can get away with. From running a highly suspect charity to financing Helena Dalli’s family to dishing out paid positions to friends who failed to get re-elected — or useful tools who resigned in disgrace — the public purse is yours to spend when you’re the Kink of Kickbackistan.

First, they sold your citizenship, pimping passports to anyone who showed up with the cash, with a special fast track for friends of Shiny Brian and Klepto Keith.

Then they sold your financial future, handing the people’s assets to Azerbaijan’s first family, Canadian fraudsters, and Indian conmen.

And then they sold your health to arms dealers and zookeepers, putting easy profits for loyalists above the lives of your vulnerable loved ones.

Now they’re selling your sovereignty to cover up their corruption and incompetence.

What do you think will happen to you when there’s nothing left for them to sell?